Mahad the Knife

The big event of the day was an interview in Boston with Dr. Anad Mahadevan, MD, FRCS, FRCR. I hope all of those initials mean he is a very smart guy.

He is the "cyberknife guru,'' the chief proponent and practitioner at Beth Israel of the new cancer-fighting technique that delivers high doses of radiation in short period of time. Essentially, they want to give me six weeks' worth of radiation in three days some time this fall. It depends on the chemo I will do first for three months being successful in stopping the spread of the cancer to other organs in my body.

I'm already somewhat invested in this, since during my surgery I had "fiducials'' (nothing to do with financial responsibility) placed in my tumor to direct the radiation with more precesion than would otherwise be the case. That's why they can give me a big dose, because if you miss by a little with the radiation, you do serious damage to surrounding healthy tissue, and it seems that everything around the pancreas is vital.

Will it help? Dr. Mahadevan said the technique is promising, but too new to say anything definitive about. But it might.

To say there are no guarantees with this is like saying the Red Sox aren't likely to win every game. But right now the risk-reward equation in having this done looks good.

I had no such ambivalent feelings about getting home today after being away since last Wednesday, especially in the heels of a delicious nap while Emily drove the last leg home. Boston is a great place, but the roads are narrow and windy and the drivers are nuts. Plus there are just too many people, even if most of them are Red Sox fans.

Home never looked better. Our new bay window in the dining room is finished and looks great, the lawn is mowed, there are fresh flowers on the table on the porch. Most important, the whole scene bespoke love and comfort and an end, at least temporarily, to cancer-related questions and interviews. I want to think about something else.

One of the first things I did was take a brief spin on my bike (newly allowed by my surgeon.) I listened to my body, as I was directed to do, and my body seemed to say, "You can do this.''