Good Bye Boys

We have both known we would have to write this blog since the day we started it almost a year ago.

We will try to do our dad justice, and be clear and direct and not too sad or sappy, and to laugh as we cry.

ALBANY, NY_Jay Gallagher, 63, died at about 8:30 Monday evening. He was surrounded by his family as he had wanted. Our father passed quickly and without much pain.

He spent his final day resting, and giving his visitors and callers a hard time about overspending, late budgets, and high property taxes. He muttered, while in a sleepy morphine state, "school board elections." He died at the time of a rare television trifecta: a Red Sox game, Celtics game and the 24 season finale were on at the same time. The decision of which to watch seemed to be too much for him.

He was a great man, father, husband and friend. We thought that was our secret, more or less, until this year. We have been totally overwhelmed at how many other people have figured this out - the emails that have poured in over the past year, and especially in the last week, touched him and our family deeply.

After he passed, we tried to talk about our memories of him but it was hard to come up with just one, or ten, things. We talked about how deeply he affected every part of our lives - his integrity, along with his love of politics, family and sports, shaped us. We sang his favorite Beach Boys song together (a little bit badly - as he would). And we cried because we will miss him.

It is actually really scary to write this blog and NOT have it vetted by him. We have been honing our inner BS-meters, too-wordy filters, and grammatical correctness our entire lives. This is the first time we don't have our dad to give us the final edit.

Details will be forthcoming on this blog about the memorial service.

This blog was very important to dad, and he thought about what his "final blog" might say quite a lot. With the help of Yancey Roy, a longtime friend and colleague, here is the closest we can get to our father's "final blog" entry.
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Everything felt like a long shot from the beginning. And it turned out to be just about what they said -- just shy of a year.

As the doctor who visited this morning said, pancreatic cancer is one of the most difficult "problems" in medicine. Seems like an understatement from this vantage point.

I don't want this to be maudlin. It's been a long -- and, in some ways, extremely short -- 11 months but I feel like at least we didn't flinch from taking any opportunity -- being daring enough to try whatever was available. The bitch is that every sign of progress was eventually met with a new complication. And the body just can't take it after a while.

It's been an amazing year in other ways. I've had a chance to more fully appreciate human relationships, let go of minor irritants (though I still had to ask friends about the Red Sox and Celtics this morning) and try my hand at new forms of journalism (blogging and radio).

I always said if I came through this fight, I'd be a changed man. Well, even though I didn't "come through this" as I hoped, I am still changed - for the better.
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We love you dad.

Written by Janice and Ellen. Vetted by Mom, Judi and Allyson.