I Need a Little Christmas Now

Six months ago today a surgeon at St. Peter's Hospital told me the mass that a CT scan had detected on my pancreas was probably cancerous. He said the mortality rate after five years was 80%. That diagnosis would be formally confirmed by a biopsy four days later.

Today I was sitting at a Christmas choral concert, listening to "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" and "Silent Night'" and thinking how lucky I was to enjoy the music. As my doctor told me Friday, "worst case, you're holding your own." A couple of people we ran into at the concert told me told me that I looked strong and healthy, which is always good to hear - especially this week when the chemotherapy knocked me for a loop more than it had before.

I also have a new found respect for the potential of Christmas to lift my mood. As the Albany Pro Musica singers put it in "We Need a Little Christmas:"

For I've grown a little leaner,

Grown a little colder,

Grown a little sadder,

Grown a little older.

And I need a little angel

Sitting on my shoulder,

Need a little Christmas now.